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> Dear Prudence - How Dare They Do The Work For Free    
 
   
wheeledgoat
post Jun 29 2020, 10:37 AM
Post#1



Posts: 109
Joined: 18-December 18



I've got a conundrum, and it occurred to me I might get some helpful perspectives from my like-minded Access compatriots.

I just re-did my kitchen - I did 95% of it myself, only contracting out a portion of plumbing and electrical. This is in addition to working 50+hrs/week at my actual job, which I only mention to highlight how exhausted I am of the project. This was a new floor, new ceiling, down-to-the-studs deal, and it's not a small kitchen. Wife and I agreed that I could take the backsplash off my plate. I actually enjoy tiling, but we've the money budgeted and I'm at the point where I'm happy to just pay to get the kitchen across the finish line.

A nurse I work with has a husband who does this type of work, and her father is a retired tile guy that needs a project to get him out of the house. I get along with this nurse very, very well - so much so that I was unafraid of entering into a business deal with her, confident that we could work out any snags. They came over one evening to survey the project and discuss details - we had dinner and drinks and it was a fine time. I happened to be out of town at my kid's lacrosse tournament this past weekend when they did the work, but we were all comfortable with my wife being there (remember this backsplash wasn't supposed to be on my plate anyway - my wife can tell them what she wants!).

Well, I got calls and texts the whole weekend about this detail and that. Not really relevant to my point, which I'm approaching, but it served to build my frustration. As the tournament wrapped up yesterday evening and I set out for the 3 hour drive back, the icing on the cake was served. They asked if I wouldn't mind doing the grout and trim around the window. After I stopped seeing red, I relented - partially because they did come across some unexpected difficulties with the project, and they live an hour away from me, and grout and trim is easy enough to do, and it just seemed like the right compromise to make, all things considered. We worked out what the final cost would be, this and that, and I got home as they were cleaning up. When I went to pay him the cash, he just smiled and said "Merry Christmas!" (yes, this was yesterday, June 28th) and would only accept reimbursement for the few sundry materials he bought (I purchased the bulk of materials). "You guys are great, we love you guys and we wanted to do this for you!"

So here I am, steaming this morning about this. I just wanted to just pay to get this job done, but after a weekend of back-and-forth BS details I have a fistfull of cash and work still left to do. But I can't complain about FREE WORK right? I feel like an [censored] for being irritated in the face of such a wonderful gesture. Sure, I could find somebody else to do the grout and trim, but I could finish the job myself in the time it would take me to search and find someone. AAARRRGGGHHH. I don't WANT to give one more evening or weekend to this [censored] kitchen!!!!

I really just came here to vent, but I'd love it if anybody had an idea on how I might word an approach to them to get them to take my cash and finish the [censored] job. They seem very adamant about not taking my money, so I think we're at an impasse and I just have to finish it myself. ugh.


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"If you don't make mistakes, you're not working on hard enough problems." -Frank Wilczek

"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get." -B.R. Hayden

Virtue is sufficient for happiness, therefore a sage is immune to misfortune.
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wheeledgoat
post Jun 29 2020, 12:06 PM
Post#2



Posts: 109
Joined: 18-December 18



Welp, many reads but no replies. I guess that means I should shut my trap and stop complaining about getting work for free. That's a decent reality check.

I just wish this project would END already!!! I can't even PAY to get it done!

But thank you, UtterAccess, for your message via non-reply. I'll shut my entitled mouth and get on with it. Thanks for letting me vent it out.
This post has been edited by wheeledgoat: Jun 29 2020, 12:11 PM

--------------------
"If you don't make mistakes, you're not working on hard enough problems." -Frank Wilczek

"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get." -B.R. Hayden

Virtue is sufficient for happiness, therefore a sage is immune to misfortune.
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projecttoday
post Jun 29 2020, 12:14 PM
Post#3


UtterAccess VIP
Posts: 12,372
Joined: 10-February 04
From: South Charleston, WV


My opinion: I agree your friends were very generous and you should not bother them for more. If you really don't feel like finishing it yourself hire someone else and tell the friends that you were just overwhelmed or if there's a birthday party or funeral you have to go to in the near future emphasize that. You might consider an out-of-town trip.

--------------------
Robert Crouser
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FrankRuperto
post Jun 29 2020, 01:51 PM
Post#4



Posts: 1,096
Joined: 21-September 14
From: Tampa, Florida USA


They're probably exhausted too from the 2-hour round trip travel and all the pro bono work they did for you, so finish the job yourself. Before you know it its all done, and come X'mas holidays, or their wedding anniversary, send them a nice card with a generous amount of money cheers.gif

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Currently supporting pawnbrokers that use my store management system developed with Access 2010 on Windows7. Experienced with Informix, Oracle & PostgreSQL db's.
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wheeledgoat
post Jun 30 2020, 09:49 AM
Post#5



Posts: 109
Joined: 18-December 18



My wife had a great idea: to rent a lakehouse for a weekend and invite them along. I love it - win-win for everybody.

Got some additional info that brings the whole situation into focus and now makes sense: turns out the dad has been retired for a while now, and this job turned out to be a breaking point for him - he's crested the hill and this weekend was the point where he, and everyone else, discovered he's past his prime and not really capable of the master-tile work he used to do. They considered the final result to be sub-par and didn't feel right charging for it. (I see a few small things here and there, but it's along the lines of what it might have looked like if I had done it so didn't really bother me).

Compared to the scope of them dealing with this life-changing milestone, my problems are downright frivolous. I feel pretty guilty. Very glad I never made an issue with them and just vented here!

--------------------
"If you don't make mistakes, you're not working on hard enough problems." -Frank Wilczek

"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get." -B.R. Hayden

Virtue is sufficient for happiness, therefore a sage is immune to misfortune.
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